25 reasons I love my best friend

We all need a friend like Rachel

Today is the 25th birthday of one of the best people I’ve ever met and potentially one of the loveliest on Planet Earth. I’ve never been good at buying gifts to show how much she means to me, but one thing I can do is articulate why I love her through writing. And so Rach, here are 25 reasons I love you. I hope you never change.

1. The comms are always open

We text all day every day. For some people, this would probably be hell on earth. But we go back and forth every day giving tiny details of what we’re doing and sharing any thoughts that go through our heads. I love that we do this. It adds nothing to the actual infrastructure of my day, but so much to the fabric of my life.

2. FaceTime is our love language

She will stay on FaceTime whilst I’m having a nap because my period pain is horrific and I don’t want to be alone but can’t hold a conversation. When I had gastroenteritis she let me lie there and moan about how I would never be well again, even though she hates sick and I was at very high risk of vomiting (she did hang up when I started to throw up again). Recently she kept me on FaceTime until I’d fallen asleep when I was home alone for a few nights and feeling anxious. There’s no one better to just have on the screen whilst I go about my day.

3. She’s obsessive about things

I have never met someone who gets so invested in things (this is including myself which is really saying something). Whether it’s a long-lasting celebrity obsession (Harry Styles and every member of One Direction), or a short stint with a particular food or song (she played Stick Season on repeat for 4 hours once - I thought my Spotify listening tab had broken), she will become fully immersed in things in a way that I admire. She likes what she likes and she will submerge herself in it. God forbid women have hobbies!

4. She’s my personal pop culture expert

Celebrity gossip is her area of expertise and I will always go to her if I ever need the low down or back story of anyone currently in the public eye (thank you for explaining Gypsy Rose to me). She loves to investigate drama in that world and can only be described as my personal Deuxmoi account. She listens to more podcasts than I can keep up with and spends a lot of her life scrolling - two lifestyle choices I strongly encourage.

5. She appreciates just doing nothing

She is a fellow lover of being horizontal. We both share the notion that we’ve lost control of our lives if we don’t spend enough of the week lying in bed doing nothing. And more importantly, she’s more than happy to do nothing when spending time with me. In the words of Winnie the Pooh ‘Doing nothing often leads to the very best something’ and that couldn’t be more true of our friendship.

6. We have a shared adoration of mass hysteria

Whether it be the government emergency alert, the Queen dying or the Glasgow Willy Wonka experience, we both go a bit nuts when it comes to national or global news stories. Some of the funniest times we’ve had involved watching the Met Gala red carpet coverage and getting each other worked up about any of The Royal Family drama.

7. She’s an active listener when I am not always that to her

I am awful at active listening. It’s one of my toxic traits. If I’m even slightly engaged in something else or picturing another situation in my head, I zone out. I can’t be on other apps whilst on FaceTime or what’s being said goes in one ear and out the other. And I get distracted during real-life conversations too (there’s just always something happening inside my head). Rach however listens to every boring thing I say and I always feel bad when I realise I have not been doing the same. Sorry! I still love you!

8. She remembers things about me that I would expect people to forget

I chat a lot of waffle. Most of which I expect, even encourage, people to take no notice of. Yet she seems to remember most of it. She’ll allude to things I’ve said that I can’t even remember saying, or things I forgot I told her. It’s heavily linked to the active listening point but it still blows my mind every time it happens.

9. Her family have an open-door policy

Countless times I have gone round to hers on a Thursday with the intention of staying for one night and I don’t leave until Sunday. It never feels like an inconvenience to be there. At one point I had my own bedroom but decided I preferred to sleep in bed with her. She’s plated up and brought one of her Dad’s roast dinners to my house because I couldn’t make it to hers to eat with them. When my therapist tells me to picture my safe and happy place, I go there.

10. Christmas is made better because of her

She will play Christmas music from 1st September onwards. She loves a cheesy Christmas movie and will make sure to tick off all of the classic Christmas build-up activities and traditions every year. And then for the main event, I go round to hers on Christmas Day, her mum does me a stocking, and we all wear matching family Christmas pyjamas. I can’t wait to go there this year and watch the new Gavin and Stacey episode with her and do Big Fat Quiz of the Year on Boxing Day. It’s perfect.

11. We have an exclusive two-member book club

We are very similar in our book preferences. We read the same books at the same speed and every month we go through the Kindle 99p book deals together to add more to our joint collection. She forgets everything she’s read immediately after finishing a book but it’s nice to have someone to read alongside with. An exclusive book club just for us.

12. We send each other everything we see on social media 

She will send me TikToks with 3 likes just because of how rogue they are. We find it hilarious to send each other different variations of the same tweet format over and over again. If there’s a trend on Twitter where everyone is putting their own spin on a tweet, you can guarantee we will send every single one we see. Instagram stories will be sent to each other with ‘Dream house’, ‘That cat is fucking huge’, and ‘I like this book cover’. It’s nice to know we have each other to send all this crap to.

13. She has strong feelings about trivial things

I get reprimanded for the side I grate a block of cheese. She has kittens if I eat an uneven amount of Weetabix biscuits because it leaves an odd number in the packet. There are processes and systems in her life like I’ve never seen. And I admire how much she cares (but also give me a break please).

14. She has awful opinions on cinema

I am a try-hard cinema nerd. I have no idea in reality what I’m talking about but I like to pretend I do. Rach is the exact opposite. She doesn’t know what makes a film objectively good or bad - she just loves the shit ones that she loves and that’s that. I am jealous of her unapologetic loyalty to films that are renowned for being bad but are five-star viewing experiences for her. Unfortunately, I’m much too uppity for this sort of behaviour.

15. She has the best laugh ever

A few weeks ago she told me that a man heard her laughing on a plane and said to her that he would ‘Remember that laugh forever’ and I couldn’t agree more. It’s loud and it fills a room but it’s all I ever want to hear. Making her laugh and laughing alongside her is my favourite thing to do.

16. We have ridiculous side characters

One thing about us is we will get caught up in the most bizarre side characters. One year we stayed up until nearly 2 am every night between Christmas and New Year stalking people we don’t know on LinkedIn. Kenny’s birthday is still in our shared calendar. ‘I just walked past Steak and Chips in town’ is a regular text from me to her. Both of these people have no idea who we are but they have us in tears of laughter.

17. It’s a judgement-free zone

For the stupid things I do, the wrong things I say, and the questionable choices I make, she never says I told you so (even if she could and probably should). She will always give me advice and tell me I could’ve handled things better but she will never undermine me or make me feel worse for the things I’ve done. I feel safe to tell her anything.

18. She pushes me to do the right thing

Rach is great at playing devil's advocate. If I go to her with a sticky situation, she will take everyone’s feelings and points of view into account when she gives me her advice. She’ll make me think about how I would feel in other people’s shoes and help me decide the most fair course of action to take. I’m a better person because of her.

19. She’s thoughtful

It’s the little things. She will pick up a pair of tights for me whilst she’s out because I ripped mine. She bought me an easter egg just because. She gave me a pair of slippers to keep at her house for when I go round. I can’t think of more because they just happen so often and she makes it seem so effortless. But I know it takes time and care to do these things, and for that I am so grateful.

20. She gives me the best presents

I am an awful gift buyer. Most birthdays and Christmases she gives me a list because I struggle to think for myself. Don’t get me wrong, she loves the top I made her that has a picture of Gonzo saying ‘Tiny Tim, who did not die!’ on it, but it’s not on the same level as what she gets me. She listens and gets me things I didn’t know I needed. I kept taking my phone in the shower to play music and the water repeatedly ruined my phone microphone. She proceeded to buy me a bathroom speaker which I use every day so that my phone can stay out of the shower. See what I mean? Genius.

21. She knows things about everything

I can go to her with practically any issue and she will have knowledge on the subject. I told her I wanted to paint my walls a nice light beigey grey and she immediately told me I needed Elephant’s Breath by Farrow and Ball. Sorry, what? How do you just know paint colours and brands off the top of your head? This is just one of many examples of the pointless information she stores. I will continue to go to her for everything in life. P.S. My walls look great.

22. The fiscal benefits

She lets me use her ASOS Premier, Amazon Prime, Disney+, and Headspace accounts. I don’t really know what to say about this apart from thank you for giving me financial incentives to continue being your friend.

23. She’s a great cook

I have cooked for her perhaps never. I’ve grated cheese. God how I’ve grated cheese. But it never seems to go any further than that. When you have someone in your life who did Food Technology at A-Level and then did a degree in Food and Nutrition, you let them cook. Thank you for all the foods you’ve made me try and love that I would have never bothered with if not placed in front of me.

24. She gives me phone calls for support

When I’m doing a particularly challenging drive, she will keep me distracted on the phone to her. In 2021 I went back to work after having time off sick and I was really struggling with my anxiety around the journey there. She stayed on the phone with me every day whilst I drove in for weeks. I owe her so much and I hope she knows how much she means to me.

25. She’s her

Loud, hilarious, caring, supportive, easy to love and impossible to forget. Happy Birthday Rachel from The Shard in London. Missing you. Loving your face!